


Hetapiri

by MutsumiMaeno



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Comedy, Drama, M/M, Male Philippines, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 09:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20637227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MutsumiMaeno/pseuds/MutsumiMaeno
Summary: A collection of short stories in Hetalia-format for the Philippines. Will contain huge gay-undertones... but honestly, the series is just that. Witness Piri's interaction with the World!





	1. Episode 1

**Author's Note:**

> Translation notes:
> 
> Magnanakaw - Thief  
Matutulog muna ako - I'll sleep for now  
handa - means the food for a celebration of some sort  
Jusko lord! - Oh my god!!  
Hindi ako nakapag-handa!! - I didn't prepare anything!  
nakakahiya, diba? - Kinda embrassing, right?

**Wanderful Host Part 1**

Sunlight peeked through the window and drifted along the room, narrowly missing a figure sprawled all over a bed.

Said man was snoring quite loudly. Limbs angled in a way that is so unnatural for someone to sleep in. It was clear that he was not gonna wake up any time soon... but the knocking sounds of the door was pretty determined to break his sleep.

***Knock! *Knock!**

The knocking sounded louder. He stirred, and opened his bleary eyes before falling back asleep again.

***Knock! *Knock! *Knock!**

"Gh.... no....." The young man groaned.

A distant voiced answered. _"If you do not respond I will be forced to break in."_

He rolled around in agony, not even wanting to get up this early. "Fffinnee- Take my stuff, magnanakaw.... I don't care. Matutulog muna ako!"

.

.

.

Not even a second later, his bedroom door gets busted down to reveal an Asian male huffing in exhaustion. "I can not allow that Piri-san! This is dire situation!"

The man opens his eyes to see the intruder. "Oh hey Japan~ You here to give a new anime series po? Can we.... do this later.... when... I'm not.... asle..." He falls face-first back to his bed.

"Excuse me!" He taps the young man to awareness. "We have a World Meeting!"

It seemed as if he froze. "Oh. Right... well, the ASEAN will catch me up. I'll go later po...."

"That is not an option!" Japan attempts to drag the rather sleepy man away. "Please get up!"

After minutes of annoying the man to wake up, he finally relents and gives up. Rising up out of the floor, he stretches his limbs and looks at Japan in confusion. "So... why am I needed? Did I get in trouble?"

"What do you mean??" Japan asked, overwhelmed by this man's lack of awareness.

"I mean what I said, po. So what is it?"

Japan took a deep breath. "You... are the host country of this World Meeting!"

The personification of the Philippines blinked once, then twice.

.

.

.

"WHAT!?!!" He screeched, now in panic. "I never heard of this, po?! Jusko lord! Hindi ako nakapag-handa!!" He rushes out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. "Tch... Why did no one tell me?!"

Japan follows after him. "You should have gotten an e-mail about it!"

"Who the heck checks emails, just text me or something! Gah.... when po does it start?" He says as he ties an apron.

"It starts in... three hours, in Manila."

Philippines turns to Japan with a completely whited-out face. "W-Wha?!?! Forget the handa, let's go!"

"You are only wearing a tank top, shorts, and an apron." Japan points out.

"Who cares po?! I have to be there in an hour! I'll change there po!" He drags Japan with cell phone in hand and speeds off.

* * *

"I made it! Yahooo~!!!" The man dancing in front of a fancy hotel probably wouldn't be considered to be a representation of a country, but he is. That's the Philippines for you.

Japan tidies his suit and sighs. "You are still wearing a scandalous outfit!"

"Oh right...." I looked down to myself. "Hey, ain't this fine po?!"

"It is not fine!" Japan immediately retorted. "Please find a suit!"

"Boo... but... yeah... I guess you are right..." I pouted, as I flapped the apron. "Wouldn't wanna be seen like this.... nakakahiya, diba? Good thing I called some people to get a venue ready."

Japan seemed to not have understood, but absentmindedly nodded anyway.

"Okay!" My head nods twice in self-generated excitement. "Imma go find a suit! Suit! Suit! Bye Japannnnnnnn~"

Little did I know, if I had stayed a while longer, I would've heard Japan's quirky remark.

_"Apron with those shorts are basically fanservice."_

* * *

**Jeepney Physics**

"Everyone here~?" Piri called out to everyone.

America spun around. "I think so....? Everyone here?"

The European nations plus America decided to finally pay a visit to Philippine's country for a change, after much insistence of America.

"W-what a wonderful place." England attempted to compliment, and would've been successful if he didn't look scared as he glanced around the forest surrounding the stop.

France looked off to Philippines and winked. "Ignore him, Philippines. I think that your place is quite magnifique!"

"Shut up you frog!!" England shouted shakily with tears in his eyes.

"Ahaha... It's okay naman po!" I laughed it off. "Do they always act like an old married couple?" Turning to America in a whisper as the two continued to argue.

America shrugs, not paying attention to the two, but to the vehicle in front of him. "Hey... isn't this...?"

My smile stretched to my cheeks. "Yup! That's a descendant of the vehicle you left us po!"

"Man, this used to be my baby! You got so big now~!" The american pats the "head" of the vehicle.

England who snapped out of his frightened state stared at the vehicle blankly. "Don't tell me we've gotta ride this."

"This could be fun~!!! It's like a limo, but less fancy!" America grinned as he hopped on to the front seat, followed by me who occupied the driver's seat. "What are you guys waiting for, leggo~!!"

France shrugged as he entered the jeepney. "What could go wrong, Angleterre?"

"Fine! I'll ride, you wanker!" England huffed. 

The french man was wrong, England was right. It wasn't necessarily the vehicle that went wrong... but the driver. It was so wrong! So very,_ very_ wrong! How the hell does this vehicle survive _anything_?!?!

"FULL SPEED AHEAD~!!!" Philippines and America shouted in unison.

"Non nononnon **non!!!**" French screeched in between getting hit with branches. "This is a steep mountain! we'll- we- d-d"

The two on the front didn't seem to notice the already passed out England and the traumatized french man. "Look, we're going on a curve! Do it just like in Tokyo Drift!!"

"Roger- THAT!!!" I grinned in excitement.

France screeched, holding on to both a handle and the unconscious Englishman. "Non!! There's no way this vehicle could even do so much as to _drift_!"

It was fruitless, both were intending to complete the mission. The jeepney came nearer and nearer to the curved road. The french man was already muttering prayers under his breath but then, the unexpected happened. The jeepney _drifted_. The vehicle, curved perfectly barely missing the fences separating the long fall from the road.

"Yahoooo~!!! Tokyo Drift!!!" The nations sang in unison. "Tokyo Drift! Tokyo Drift! Tokyo Drift!"

Unknown to the two, their passengers had already passed out. Unmoving from their spots.

Guess, they'll enjoy the trip when they wake up?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters today! Yay~

**Arbeit Part 1**

Germany was not someone who took his time. He liked to be efficient and get things done as quickly as possible. The only time he’d make an exception is eating. Enjoying food was something he shared with his good friend, Italy. Whether it may be cooking or eating, he enjoys it all the same. Unfortunately, he had no time to cook up something for his lunch.

Schedules he had did not allow him for that. Heaving a sigh, he saunters on over to a restaurant. The chime of the door catches the attention of the tanned waiter on the counter.

“Good day! What would you like today?” He asked, tipping his baseball cap.

Surprised by the assertive costumer service, he smiled. “Well, what do you guys serve?”

“Oh! We serve burgers, fries, beef-steaks, chicken, and our new time-limit product only available for today! Adobo!”

The German paused. “Wait, what did you say?”

“We serve burgers, fr-“ The waiter repeated but got cut-off by a startled German.

“No. The last dish.”

The waiter’s smile brightened. “Are you interested good sir? I’m sure you’ll quite enjoy it, po!” Realizing what he just said, he lightly tapped his forehead. “Ooops. Slip of tongue.”

“Philippines?!” Germany pointed to the tanned waiter. “What are you doing here?!”

He shrugs of the cap and scratches his head. “Well, as you can see, I work here po!”

“Huh? You’re a nation, you do not need to do that! Let me speak to your manager.”

Philippines nods. “Yes, you are speaking to him po.”

“What.” Germany’s face turned blank. “Is this business yours?”

“No! I’m just a part-timer!” He pouted.

“Then where’s the real manager?”

“I am him po.”

Germany was confused. “This building is yours?”

“…No?” Philippines answered slowly.

“Who owns it?”

He shrugged. “Some guy who entrusted me this place.”

“So, he’s the manager.” Germany was tired and he’s hungry he’d rather not deal with this, but he’s in too deep now.

“No! I am the manager!” He pouted.

“Gah!!” Germany face palmed. (This kid’s logic….)

“So… what will you order?”

Germany really does not want to deal with this any longer. “I’ll take a burger to go.” He’d rather not eat such an unhealthy thing… but he’s gotta get out of here.

“Please, wait a sec!” Philippines saunters over to the kitchen.

“…Where’s the chef?” Germany asked slowly. (Gott, if he answers that he’s the chef I will-)

“Oh, I’m the chef.” He points to himself and answers nonchalantly.

(He must be joking.) Germany’s face soured. “I’m outta here.”

“Ah! No wait! Don’t go po~!!” The tanned nation pleaded as the German walk away.

**Chibipiri Part 1**

The little country scampered through the fields with his trusty machete. The sun above did nothing to bring Chibipiri down as he continued to clear out the long grass and weeds in Spain's field. His machete was far too big for his little hands, but the tight grip and the surprising strength he had on his little body made it possible to slice through the blades of grass.

As he continued to work, he hears a pleasant sound.

The wind made his clothes swish as he listened careful for the source of the sound. Too mesmerized to do further work, he placed the machete down and ran to the song's direction, a hill that overlooks the fields.

What greeted him at the top was his master, Espanya. His hands on a weird position on some kind of instrument. "Oh, hello little one. Are you done with your work?"

"∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ╎ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ╎リ ||𝙹⚍∷ ⍑ᔑリ↸? ╎ℸ ̣ ᓭ𝙹⚍リ↸ᓭ ʖᒷᔑ⚍ℸ ̣ ╎⎓⚍ꖎ." The child answered while pointing eagerly on the instrument.

The Spanish man looked confused. "I'm sorry, I do not understand you. We should speed up your language lessons, yeah?"

Chibipiri looked thoughtful. "I ᓵᔑリ'ℸ ̣ ⚍リ↸ᒷ∷ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑリ↸ ||𝙹⚍." He turned his attention to the instrument and pointed again.

Spain follows the child's eyes and smiled. "Oh, this is a guitar." He placed his hands on the instrument and started to play, bringing out the pleasing sound the child liked. "Do you like it?" Spain gestures to the guitar, which the child nods.

"H𝙹∴ ↸𝙹 ||𝙹⚍ !¡ꖎᔑ||?" The child asked eagerly, showing a smile Spain had not seen for such a long time.

"You really like it, huh? Romano says that I suck..." Spain sighs. "Do you want to play it with me? I can teach you?"

Chibipiri stared at the guitar and tried to see what Spain did. "∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ?"

"I Teach." Spain said slowly, gesturing to both himself and the guitar. "You Guitar." Now gesturing to the child and the guitar.

"╎ ᔑᒲ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎リ⊣?" The child asked slowly.

Spain gives up and hands the child the guitar. "How do you like it?"

Chibipiri tried to pluck a string, but was not able to do so. "ᔑ∴... ╎ ᓵᔑリℸ ̣ ↸𝙹 ╎ℸ ̣."

"Hey, It's okay! Here, let me show you..." He takes the guitar slowly from the child and shows him how to do it. "See?"

"∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ?" He tilted his head.

"Don't worry, you'll learn in time. I believe in you." Spain smiled, and it was reflected by Chibipiri.

"╎ ↸𝙹リℸ ̣ ⚍リ↸ᒷ∷ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑリ↸ ||𝙹⚍." The child answered back. "ʖ⚍ℸ ̣ ╎ ⎓ᒷᒷꖎ ⍑ᔑ!¡!¡||."

"I'm sorry about a lot of things... but I'm glad I can make you happy with just this little thing." Spain smiles. "Well, how about another song?"

The personification of Spain plays a little tune for the small child, a top the hill. The breeze and cold did nothing as the tune warmed both their hearts and bonded them into a melody. More songs continued to play as years passed by. Played by both Father and Son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation notes
> 
> Adobo - A popular food in the Philippines
> 
> Galactic Alphabet was used in Chibipiri's speaking lines. The language used by people of the Philippines before the Spaniards came had been lost. As is all of the records pertaining anything before the colonization. I thought that it was fitting? Don't you agree?


End file.
